falling in love

Groping for Fish

2005-08-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

O Mortal, what is love
Theat binds beyond life on earth?
To all corners in a pair we fly,
Braving summer and winter by and by.
Union is bliss, parting is woe,
agony is boundless for a lovelorn.
Sweet heart, give me word.......
Trails of clouds drifting forward,
Amid mountains cupped with snow,
Whither shall my lonesome shadow go?

2005-08-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.“I can't”“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.“No… I am going to meet a friend…”He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why…Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I …Jin: What…don't drag, just say..Me: I love you.Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.Me: Jin…Jin: Here…take this…Again, he handed me a little doll.Me: What’s this?Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?Jin: Today? Huh?I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”Jin: You have something to say?Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…Jin: What?!Me: Tell meI put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everydayAfter a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…Me: I don’t need it. Jin: What….why…I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…Honk~ Honk~With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.“Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls,shocked.“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.“I love you~”“I love you~”“I love you~”Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life….

A silent love

2005-07-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"
As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"
The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.
The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......
The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.
During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.
With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....
The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.
With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.
When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

100 Days

2005-07-09T05:39:00.001-07:00

Message: Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing, but just gazing into the sky, while all their friends are having fun with their beloved half.Tina: I'm so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.Peter: I guess we're the only leftovers. We're the only person who isn't with a date now. (both sigh n silence for a while)Tina: I think I have a good idea. Lets play a gamePeter: Eh? What game?Tina: Eem..It's quite simple. You be my boyfriend for 100 days and I'll be your girlfriend for 100 days. what do you think?Peter: Oookay..Anyway I don't have any plan for the next few months.Tina: You sound like you aren't looking forward to it at all. Cheer up.
Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.Tina: Seems like I don't have any better idea than this. Lets move. (went to watch their movies and sent each other home)
Day 2:Peter and Tina went to a concert together, and Peter bought Tina a keychain with a star.
Day 3:They went shopping together for a friend's birthday present. Share an ice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.
Day 7:
Peter drove Tina up onto a mountain and they watch the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they said sat on the grass gazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by. Tina mumbled something.
Day 25:Spend time at a themepark and got onto rollercoasters, and ate hotdogs and cotton candy. Peter and Tina got in the haunted house and Tina grabbed someone's hand instead of Peter's hand by accident. They laughed togetherfor a while.
Day 67:They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. The midget asked Tina to play a part as his assistant in the magic show. Went around to see other entertainments around after the show. Came to a fortune teller and she just said "Treasure every moment from now on" and a tear rolled down the fortune teller's cheek.
Day 84:Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn't so crowded that day. They have their first kiss with each other just as the sun is setting.
Day 99:They decided to have a simple day and is deciding to have a walk around the city. They sits down onto a bench.
1:23 pmTina: I'm thirsty. Lets rest for a while first.Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks. What would you like?Tina: Eem...Apple juice will be just fine.
1:43 pmTina waiting for about 20 minutes and Peter havent return. Then someone walked up to her.Stranger: Is your name Tina?Tina: Yes, and may I help you?Stranger: Just now down there on the street a drunk driver has crashed into a guy. I think its your friend.Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sees Peter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital with Peter. Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a half hours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.
11:51 pmDoctor: I'm sorry, but we did the best we could. He is still breathing now but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket.
The doctor hands over the letter to Tina and she goes into the room to see Peter. He look weak but peaceful. Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears. Here is what the letter said.
Tina, our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all these days. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful, but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realize that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that we can extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you.
11:58Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were suppose to last 100 days so Peter! You can't leave me! I LOVE YOU, but can you come back tome now? I love you Peter. I LOVE YOU.
As the clock struck twelve, Peter's heart stopped beating. It was 100 days.

Salty Coffee

2005-07-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, "Please, let me go home..."
Suddenly he asked the waiter, "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, "Why you have this hobby?" He replied, "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there." While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home... Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.
That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said, "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life's lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything... Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste... But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."
Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, "What's the taste of salty coffee?" She replied, "It's sweet."

I love you

2005-07-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl..."Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked."I can't" "Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me."No... I am going to meet a friend..."He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'love' only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days...200days... Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why...Then one day...
Me: Um, Jin, I ...Jin: What...don't drag, just say...Me: I love you.Jin: ......you....um, just take this doll and go home.That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But... lunch passed, dinner passed... and soon the sky was dark... he still didn't call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.Me: Jin...Jin: Here...take this...Again, he handed me a little doll.Me: What's this?Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?Jin: Today? Huh?I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted.... "Wait...''Jin: You have something to say?Me: Tell me, tell me you love me...Jin: What?!Me: Tell meI put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left."I don't want to say...that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb.... and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily... How could he..... I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street... with another girl... He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me... Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls...In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that...it's going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual...Me: I don't need it. Jin: What.....why...I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking."I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then...Honk~ Honk~With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him."Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted... But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.''Jin, move!'' HONK~!! "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.That's how he went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him.... And after spending two months like a crazy person... I took out the dolls.Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days... when we were in love..."One...two... three..." That was how...I started to count the dolls..."Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..." It all ended with 485 dolls.I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly..."I love you-, I love you-" I dropped the dolls,shocked."I....lo..ve...you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach."I love you- I love you-" It can't be! I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side."I love you-" "I love you-" "I love you-"Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn't I realize that....That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he love me this much... I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much..."Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you.... Um… since I was too shy... If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you... everyday... till I die... Jo... I love you...?The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute...For that... and for that reason... to me... it became courage... to live a beautiful life....

The relationship

2005-06-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No way
Girl: What would you choose: your life..orme?
Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

The Guy

2005-06-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

The guy who loves you, if he can't always see you,he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.The guy who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he loves you. He only knew that, in his eyes,you are the only one.The guy who loves you, seldom praises you, but in his heart, you are the best, only he knows it.The guy who loves you, will scold or complaint if you didn't reply his message but doesnt others,because he cares.The guy who loves you, only drop his tears in front of you, when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart, the heart which beat for you.The guy who loves you, will remember every word u said, even if its accidentally, and he will use the word always at the nick of time.The guy who loves you, will not give any promise that easily, because they don't want to break the promise, they want you to believe him and they want to give you the happiest and safest life ever after.The guy who loves you, always tell you not to think too much, because they already plan it for you, he wants to give u the best life in the future, he wants to give you a suprise, believe him that he can do it.The guy who loves you, will go to the airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. but he will carry your luggage and ask you, " why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.The guy who loves you, will listen quietly to you,when you are mad, and when you finished, he will say, you still got class tomorrow, sleep early, with a smile.The guy who loves you, don't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will sent a message to you after few hours, if you asked him why he call that late, he will say, when you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But when you calm down, my explanation will only really works.The guy who loves you, always call you little girl,but everytime he want to make a big decision, hewill first want to hear your advice.The guy who loves you, don't like little toys like teddy bear, but he will always put the bear you gave him on his bed.The guy who loves you, while quarelling, he will apologize uncontrollably, although you are the one who's wrong, and later, he will sent a message toyou with "baby, actually you know its your fault,you know it yourself."The guy who loves you, while really miss you, he will want to buy a bunch of rose and wait you stupidly under your apartment but he never knows,what he bought is daisy, but doesn't matter,because in his heart, that are roses.Girls in crush, love, do you think the guy who'sbeside you do really love you? If yes, wish you have the happiest day ever after.*~aawwww...this is so sweet~*

Tell someone your feeling!

2005-06-23T20:50:00.000-07:00

10th grade As I sat there in English class,I stared at the girl next to me.She was my so called "best friend".I stared at her long, silky hair, and wishedshe was mine.But she didn't notice me like that,and I knew it. After class,she walked up to me and asked me forthe not she had missed the day before and handed them to her.She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.I wanted to tell her,I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,I love her but I'm just too shy,and I don't know why.11th gradeThe phone rang. On the other end,it was her.She was in tears,mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did.As I sat next to her on the sofa,I stared at her soft eyes,wishing she was mine.After 2 hours, one Drew Barry more movie,and three bags of chips, she decided to go tosleep.She looked at me,said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.I want to tell her,I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,I love her but I'm just too shy,and I don't know why.Senior year The day before prom she walked to my locker."My date is sick" she said;he's not going to go well,I didn't have a date,and in 7th grade,we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,we would go together just as "bestfriends". Sowedid.Prom night, after everything was over,I was standing at her front door step!I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared atme with her crystal eyes.I want her to be mine,but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it.Then she said "I had the best time,thanks!"and gave me a kiss on the cheek.I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don'twant to be just friends,I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.Graduation Day A day passed, then a week, then a month.Before I could blink, it was graduation day.I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma.I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.Before everyone went home,she came to me in her smock and hat,and cried as I hugged her.Then she lifted her head from myshoulder and said,"you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy,and I don't know why.A Few Years Later Now I sit in the pews of the church.That girl is getting married now.I watched her say "I do"and drive off to her new life,married to another man. I wanted her to be mine,but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it.But before she drove away, she came tome and said "you came!".She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek.I want to tell her,I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don'tknowwhy.Funeral Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend".At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.This is what it read:"I stare at him wishing he was mine,but he doesn't notice me like that,and I know it.I want to tell him,I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends,I love him but I'm just too shy,and I don't know why.I wish he would tell me he loved me!I wish I did too...I thought to my self, and I cried.I Love UI Love UI Love UI Love UI Love UI Love UI Love UI Love UI Love UI Love U..."

My Mother

2005-05-22T02:49:00.000-07:00

My mother kept a garden,
A garden of the heart,
She planted all the good things
That gave me life its start.
She turned me to the sunshine
And encouraged me to dream,
Fostering and nurturing
The seeds of self-esteem.
And when winds and rain came,
She protected me enough-
But not much because she knew
I'd need to stand up strong and tough.
Her constant good example
Always taught me right from wrong-
Markers for my pathway
That will last a lifetime long.
I am my mother's garden.
I am her legacy,
And I hope today she feels the love
Reflected back from me!

The Reeds

2005-05-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

The reeds grow green,dew drops turn to frost.
My love one,is at end of the stream.
Upstream I pursue,the way long and toilsome.
Downstream I pursue,she seems at midstream.

Self -Esteem

2005-05-21T14:20:00.001-07:00

Please treat me well; I am as I'm treated
When I am loved, I can love who I am
When I am cared for, I can care for myself
When I am treated as someone, i can feel like someone
Speak to me, so I may learn to listen
Expose the world to me, so I may feel I am seen
If you're good to me, I must be a good person
When you smile at me , I can smile inside
When you let me make choices, I know htat I can choose
When you give to me , I can give a bit back
Touch me gently, so I may touch others
Rest my unrest, so that I may learn self-control
Soothe me, so I may learn to soothe
Love me, but give me room to love others
When you treat me as successful, I can learn to succeed
When you respect my dreams, I can explore reality
When you allow my mistakes, I can accept what they teach
Teach me diversity of thought, so I may be open-minded
Help me help others, soI may grow to be selfless
Demonstrate your diligence, so I may earn my way in life
Show me how to laugh, so I may laugh with others
Laugh at your shortcomings, so I ma accept my own
I am someone and I am loved

Phoenix Perching on Parasol

2005-05-20T23:26:00.000-07:00

Regret I will not,
even if my grown become looser each day,
Worthwhile it is,Though I grow languid because of you

2005-05-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

When I got off the plane When I met my roommate When I had to select a long-distance phone company When I wanted my stereo sent to me When I fought with my roommate When I needed money When I needed to know how to make mashed potatoes When I put liquid dish soap in the dishwasher When I wanted to know how to get soy sauce out of rayon When I got in a car accident When I failed a test When I met a special girl When I lost a special girl When I got lonely When I got a kitten When I got fleas When I didn’t want to study When I needed money When they sent me a care package When I got a good grade When I got published in the school newspaper When it was my mom’s birthday When it was my birthday When I needed help moving out of the dorms When I changed majors When I changed majors again When we won the big game When we went to war in the Gulf When there were riots When I gave up meat When I wanted my parents to give up meat When I needed money When I got the flu When my parents had an anniversary When Grandpa died When there was an earthquake When I met someone famous When I needed money When I got a night job When I needed advice When a friend from high school got cancer When I felt no one understood When I wanted a ticket home When I won an award When I needed a relative’s address When I ran out of stamps When I wanted some homemade cookies When I needed money When I just wanted to tell them I loved them

First Kiss

2005-05-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful,the summer before I start Secondary three.For Mary,it's summer before Secondary four.
I am watching TV.Jenny jones is on.the guests argue about their unfaithful husbands or wives,while their wives or husbands deny all of accusations of infidelity.Suddenly, Mary Plops down next to me in the couch,coming out from the bathroom.She nuzzles very close to meand rests her head on my shoulder,complaining how bony it is.I tell her to shut up.I feel conscious of her shoulder,and then I feelconscious of her staring at me.I look at her and smile.
"what's up?"I ask,confused
"Nothing,"she answers,shaking her head.
She nuzzles even closer to me, I feel awkward.Her arm slides in between my arm and my body,and she clings to me.A billion thoughts race through my head and then all of a sudden...nothing.I feel her staring at me,the heat of her face close to mine.I look at her,and I se three eyes.She looks straight into my eyes,pinning me with her gaze, locking my eyes with hers.
"Don't you want wanna kiss me?"she asks sweetly.
My mouth drops open,andI quickly close it,realizing that it was not the right look to give.I start to sweat a little.What's worse,I feel her arm snake around my neck.I glance down for a second,sensing an awkwardness, like she doesn't know what she's doing.I look up again into her eyes.Her confidence suddenly blows to me away, and I am intimidated.Time ceases to pass in minutes or even seconds...but milliseconds.Actually,the only time that exists is measured by the small movements that she makes.
A smile slowly forms on lips.
I start to blush,feeling my blood rush into my cheeks,and I feel stupid,like I don't what I'm doing,which I don't.And in that moment I curse her for making me feel stupid;she knows what she's doing to me.
I have to do something.Her next move might be an embarrassing question,like,"Do you not know how to kiss or something?"or "are you prude?" or "What's wrong with you,boy?"she's too close to my face!She's too imtimidating.She's too...cute!
She stops smiling.
Oh no!What she thinking now?I'm so stupid!I should've done something!She thinks I'm prude!I am!So what?!?!?So,I' m a prude.give me a break! Give...me...a break!
She wets her lips
Whoa.
Oh,man.Only a breathe away from my face now,I see her lips form a smile before she presses hers to mine.
Slow,soft and sweet.Only her arms around me keep me from flying.
After what seems like a few minutess,she stops kissing me and look me up.Her emerald eyes sparkle,,and she smiles.She giggles and says that I'm cute.I stare at her.She nuzzles back against me and watches TV.I sit there,staring at her,dumbfounded...with a stupid smile pasted on my lips.
WOW.

Teenage Love

2005-05-18T13:52:00.000-07:00

He loves me...he loves me not...
Love starts as an insignificants seed.
A wishful prayer,
a tiny fire,
a playful giggle,
a rosy blush,
a risky wink,
or a kindly smile.
He loves me... he love me not...
Friendship buds.
A tender understanding,
a growing warmth,
a gentle trust.
He loves me...he love me not...
The bud opens its first petals to a pair of
sparkling eyes
which twinkel with a new
passion.
A passion that overcomes all sense
until finally
a risky chance is
taken.
He loves me...he loves me not...
The rose opens into a
beautiful,ruby blossom.
Everything else in the world becomes
lost in a crazy,wild nosense
a happy oblivation of exhilaration
complete and total
joy.
A sweet,innocent kiss
in the moonlight
seals the mutual promises
of never-ending fidelity.
Cherish.
Honour.
Protect.
Forever...or until
The blossom wilts,
and the petals fade,
and the promises break,
but the memories
of sunlight and blue sky
remain fragrant
preserved in the petals
of sachets
stuffed in the back of your sock drawer
and your heart

Two of Me

2005-05-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd find myself
the day that I found you.
Plans for only
one of me
are future plans for
Two.
Soul mates in this universe
that make the world surreal.
For when I'd given up on dreams
you showed me love is real.
And now that all my love for you
will never cease to groe,
please take me in your loving arms
and never let me go